Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
this is an emotional support booty call
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
