Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
is wine microwaveable?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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