I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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