Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
