it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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