i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
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