She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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