check it out our google latitudes are spooning
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
