Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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