She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
two words...techno handjob
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Who died my cat blue again?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
