He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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