Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
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