I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
