Your mouth is God's brothel.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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