he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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