careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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