He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Im part way to drunk.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
