I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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