If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
