I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
