so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
