dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
