I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
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That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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