the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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