it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
