So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize