why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Can you bring me the toilet please
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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