there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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