look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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