dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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