Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize