need another drink. this is the easiest way
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
