never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
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Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
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Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i need some magic done to my vagina
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
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