He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
