called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
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I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
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GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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