Texts From Last Night

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  (434): View more from Virginia

  He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text

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  (434): He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text http://tfl.nu/js3q
  Replies (7) Good night (560) Bad night (1060) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.

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  (646): the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us. http://tfl.nu/x7fp
  Replies (13) Good night (5771) Bad night (540) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo

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  (978): She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo http://tfl.nu/4j6u
  Replies (22) Good night (8048) Bad night (589) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.

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  (914): getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight. http://tfl.nu/b9qd
  Replies (60) Good night (700) Bad night (5963) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage

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  (609): This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage http://tfl.nu/v5ez
  Replies (26) Good night (7079) Bad night (972) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.

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  (972): I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it. http://tfl.nu/3d6t
  Replies (14) Good night (4355) Bad night (812) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.

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  (703): I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver. http://tfl.nu/n7jh
  Replies (23) Good night (5463) Bad night (1742)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?

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  (206): So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for? http://tfl.nu/tolv
  Replies (10) Good night (2025) Bad night (1084) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes

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  (419): i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes http://tfl.nu/0ze1
  Replies (6) Good night (1780) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.

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  (719): I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush. http://tfl.nu/eys0
  Replies (11) Good night (2248) Bad night (676) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.

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  (618): This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money. http://tfl.nu/bov0
  Replies (3) Good night (2039) Bad night (513) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too

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  (203): I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too http://tfl.nu/f6yj
  Replies (7) Good night (710) Bad night (2501) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.

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  (916): I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background. http://tfl.nu/r9ng
  Replies (4) Good night (1162) Bad night (287) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good

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  (508): Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good http://tfl.nu/obpt
  Replies (10) Good night (661) Bad night (239) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.

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  (334): As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream. http://tfl.nu/b74h
  Replies (3) Good night (532) Bad night (142) Order T-Shirt

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