so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
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is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
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and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.