There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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