I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize