Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
