no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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