We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
