FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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