I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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