You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
