I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.