Sponge bath it is.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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