Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you traded sex for a burrito?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.