How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
