ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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