Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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