the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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