Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Sorry about my life...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
