so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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