who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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