I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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