Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize