Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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