I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
handjob tips. give me some.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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