whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
