K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
