but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Is it because I queefed?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
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I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
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i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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