Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
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we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
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I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.