ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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