no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
