it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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