i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
