Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
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